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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?